Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Always wear clean underpants


BECAUSE...you never know when you're going to nick yourself with a chainsaw and end up in the emergency room with your bloody pants on the floor, a friend on one side, a nurse on the other and a really cute doctor sewing up your leg. Yes friends, this happened to me yesterday morning. I got up early to start clearing the dog yard. I put on my work gloves and eye protection, plugged in my Ipod and fired up the chainsaw. Things were going really well. I'd cut a few trees then stop to pile them up. It was a cool morning and no one was around. Sam and the family have taken a road trip and the builders hadn't arrived at work yet. I cut a little tree and then moved the chainsaw to my other hand while guiding the tree to the spot I wanted it to fall. Well, when you take your finger off the trigger, the saw doesn't stop. HA! I've been meaning to get chaps (protective pants) for a while but never got around to it. The chain snagged my work pants and got sucked in...TO MY THIGH. Let this be a lesson to all. When using a chainsaw, take all the proper precautions. But if you're stupid like I am, at least eat a few donuts. Yes, it's sad but true; my flabby thighs saved me from hitting the muscle buried deep in the fat. So. Fat thighs are a GOOD thing. Anyway, I stayed pretty calm considering the situation and considering that it's, well, me, and called a friend. He took me to the hospital and Margaret met me there a short time later. All told I got a couple dozen stitches. They sucked all the wood out of the wound and cut some of the more gnarled pieces of flesh away before suturing a tidy little line. The adrenaline and Novocain wore off pretty quickly and so I'm on a steady diet of advil. (Beer with Becky, Rachel and Lisa helped last night too.)

Funny, I walked out of the hospital and had Margaret drive me to Rod's Saw Shop. I told the guy I need some chaps. He looked at my bloody pants and agreed. He actually gave me a discount when I told him what happened. Funny. Anyway, the windows and a door are in. I have a guy coming to help me finish clearing the land today so I must go. And remember kids: play safe. And also remember when you fall of the chainsaw get right back on...or something like that.

Oh yeah, I was taking pictures while they were stitching me up but I haven't figured out how to get them from my camera phone to the blog so stay tuned. The doctor was getting really annoyed with the camera in his face but I couldn't resist. Plus, my adrenaline was pumping so hard I could have probably picked up the doctor and run around the block with him under my arm like a football, so I had to focus my energy on something...I chose photos.

peace.

11 comments:

... said...

Yay the comments are back!

Hope your leg heals up. Luckily you don't have running water to bathe the wound every day, right...

That was your best chance to try the ziploc bag wound cleaning system, did you have time to try it? You fill a ziploc with water and then cut a very small triangle out of one corner. Then you spray the water on the wound to get rid of the extra chunks (like that wood). File that away for next time. The bigger the triangle the less good it works.

akbushbaby said...

thanks bob.

Anonymous said...

and you really must mention how those chaps are working for ya.
- margaret

Anonymous said...

That's a pretty extreme way to get a discount. Heal well. Give our best to Sam.

Dillon and Eva

akbushbaby said...

ok. So yesterday I was sawing along again and hit the chaps, shedding part of them at the knee. I never said I was good at chainsawing. I just like it. I'm taking a break from it for while because, contrary to recent happenings, I do value my limbs.

... said...

you so crazy! How about a smaller chainsaw, would you have better luck keeping the bar off your body with that? Maybe it wouldn't be such a board to flop around.

Anonymous said...

Good Lord Woman. I don't know what else to say. Thank goodness for Marg & John to the rescue. Can't wait to see you and the Frankenstein wound on Saturday... Libby P.

kelly said...

god! how many times do i have to tell you? people dont like people who have no legs!!!

akbushbaby said...

Not true! I like William Kleedehn. AND I'll have you know my gramma just had her leg aputated and she's happier than she's ever been in her whole life. She's learning how to use a prosthesis and she's in her 80s. So there.

kelly said...

i said no LEGS, not no leg. at this rate you'll have no arms either. and then you'll just be a crazy stumpy midget who will have to strap herself to a dog to get around. yee-haw.

Anonymous said...

Jillian,
OK, I just read through your blog (which I l-o-v-e, love, by the way) and realized that it starts with a picture of you wielding that infamous chainsaw and currently ends with the scary story about said weapon of thigh destruction. What a yin yang balance of raw power and potential tragedy. Be careful out there! The place looks great, though. I'm glad to see the results of your summer of hard work.
Cheers,
Theresa