Looking 'artsy in a clean sort-of way'

My hair is such a disaster, the Red Cross wouldn't give it coffee.
For a couple, maybe three, weeks now I've been attempting somewhat unsuccessfully to dread my hair.
Now, there are a lot of misconceptions about dreadlocks, and so I would like to dispel some of those urban hair myths if I may:
- For most, simply not brushing your hair does lead to dreadlocks, not very nice ones anyway. I have a few friends who this has worked for, but there is some maintenance involved.
- You still have to wash your hair when you have dreads. Dreadlocks form best with dry hair. Oily hair does not work as well, therefore washing is a must.
I guess those were the two main things.
My hair is thick, curly and course. I though it would be perfect for dreading, but it's not taking very well, hence the above disaster comment.
A couple weeks ago, when I made the decision, I sat down with a fine-tooth comb, clips, tiny elastics, beeswax and an entire season of Will and Grace. I separated the hair into sections and backcombed, or teased, the snot out of it. Then I twisted and twisted with a bit of wax until my head was covered in puffy, schlongs of hair. After a few days, the knotted hair began to unravel. Can it be? I kept up the maintenance, sitting down each night and teasing the crap out of the hair. (with a comb, not verbally). Again, after a few days and a gentle washing with all-natural shampoo, the knots were coming out. Did I tell you that I have horse hair? I mean, really, WTF?
I'm now in the third week and all my original dreads have come undone. I'm not giving up, however. Now I want them more than ever. It takes months for dreads to start and sometimes years for them to look good, if you like how dreads look, which I do.
So, even though I'm not patient, I will wait and tease and tease and probably get teased. That's OK, though.
I won't post any pictures because, well, you know, the aforementioned disaster. But Google Medusa and you might get an idea.
Peace.