Saturday, November 03, 2007

I hate you, don't leave me

Some very interesting events here in Kansas City, Missouri. Very interesting, indeed. Let's see. We've toured around the city and beyond visiting friends of Sam's. I've done a ton of shopping and found many vintage and used clothing stores here, which I am extremely excited about. The weather is crazy good. The mansion is big. The cats are nuts.
On another note, I got an email about the my rantish post on journalism in Fairbanks. This dude wants a copy of that particular post. He didn't say why, but he has a UAF email account. I deleted the post and it's gone. What's going on? Since then, I've done a lot of thinking about this blog thing. Over the past two weeks, I've encountered a lot of people in Indy and here in KC who read my blog. Great. But, at the same time these are people who I now work with at the FFA, Sam's family and friends etc. Not to mention people in Fairbanks who I never knew read the blog, now piping up. Ok. It's a public forum, right? I am putting myself out there. I'm spouting off about this and that, but mostly my posts are benign stories about my dogs or well-wishes to my Gran. However, I now feel like I have to censor (or sensor) myself. I can't be funny Jill if it might possibly offend someone. Gasp! So now what? Is this the end of the wannabe musher? Well, shit. When I stop being honest to myself and sugarcoat my stories, ideas or opinions to suit some suit, what have I become? I need to be more diplomatic. Right? Is that it? I need to put careful thought into how I word my opinions so as not offend anyone. Well, if I can't be myself, I can't be. I need your opinions now, you my readers. As a professional, do I simply leave out certain aspects of my life when it comes to the blog? I can do that. I'm not slandering anyone, these are my thoughts, as uneducated or well-informed as they may be. Americans are always going on about the first amendment. So yeah, free speech, but what about the ramifications? I have yet to find out what those are. We fly back to Alaska tomorrow. I'll let you all know.
Peace.

16 comments:

dogsled_stacie said...

Don't you dare stop blogging, don't even think about it. What I do is avoid all work topics (for the most part, just with being gov't, plus it's just not that interesting).

On the other hand, you shouldn't have to censor yourself either. Especially if you don't want to! What could the ramifications be with dude-who-wants-that-post? Are you getting paranoid? I get that once in awhile. But, I saw that post as an honest analysis of local journalism. And it's just one person's opinion anyways.

So I have no idea what you should do, but it better include the continuation of blogging! :)

akbushbaby said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
akbushbaby said...

Ah, thanks. I really hate it when I'm trying to make a point and typing furiously and spell a bloody word (or 10) wrong. Pisses me off. Oh well. Thanks for the input. And yes, I'm always paranoid. Maybe I should lay off the weed. Kidding. I'll never lay off it. Kidding again.

Alaskan Dave Down Under said...

Keep blogging! I love hearing about good ole Squarebanks and the Goldstream area. I'm also very much looking forward to your mushing stories this winter.

If you are concerned about other stuff, just don't post about work. They can't get upset about your personal life.

I too liked your post about the Fairbanks Daily Fish Wrapper, as Stacie says it's just an honest opinion of local journalism.

Theresa said...

Hear, Hear. I agree with the eloquent posters above. Writing about work can be tricky, but I think we should hold our industry - free speech dependent as it is - to a higher standard. Publishers and managers should be able to take the criticism. Even if it's just opinion.

I read your scandalous post and thought it rocked. Maybe I didn't agree with everything you said, but it was a snapshot of how you were feeling at the moment. We're always changing. As writers we need to respect that about ourselves. That said, I do censor myself. I can't help it. I also try to push beyond the safe envelope, because sometimes that's where the good stuff comes from.

Anyway, I hope you keep blogging. As one of your faithful readers, I would be bereft without you.

Libby said...

Please keep blogging, Jill. I love you just the way you are.

Marty b said...

Hey lady! I was linked into your blogs from my niece's blog site. She worked for the FFA at the time and had met Sam at the conventions. That was a couple of years ago and I have been following your blog since. DON'T STOP BEING YOURSELF< PLEASE! I have enjoyed your adventures with the dogs, have enjoyed Alaska vicariously since I have never been there and, since I'm in my seventies, will probably not make it. Particularly in the winter. I haven't read any "sounding off" that was particularly offensive, but I think I remember the blog and thought at the time that someone would fuss, but it also might rattle their cage a touch to where they try harder. Anyway, for me, your blogs are what blogging is all about and I would hate to see you edit/alter/retreat.

Anonymous said...

Jilly keep on Blogging its the only exitement I get these days and Inger and I do enjoy reading your comments' There is always someone who begs to differ if you get what I mean so keep on writing.All my Love Gran'.

subarctic mama said...

Dang! I have to admit I missed the deleted post. I got the quick summary of it from talking with Theresa. I was sad to have missed it. I know how you're feeling. I just got a really insulting email from a family member who was offended by my blog. I'm struggling with the public/private aspect of blogging. I feel really limited--work--family--the like. If you keep going, I'll be reading and lurking (and commenting more).

Megan said...

I hope you'll decide to keep blogging. I'm an occasional reader- I eventually catch up with all of your posts; but because I'm sporadic about it, I missed your stirring journalism post. This whole "live journal" thing is tricky. No lock and key like our diaries used to have, no tucking it safely under the bed. I hate to think of you censoring yourself, but I know I'm guilt of this sometimes in my own posts. Do you have a draft function with blogger? Sometimes I save my true rants in draft form; if they're worthwhile, I'll post them the next day or so. Sometimes they go through an edit before they're published; it's nice to have that reality check.

dogsled_stacie said...

There you go, your Gran has spoken! Do as she says!! :)

Amanda said...

Don't stop blogging, and I don't think you needed to remove the post. It's healthy to talk about improving our profession. But I remember reading the post and thinking that your criticisim was nasty instead of constructive. And aren't you a member of the media here in Fairbanks? Have you explored your own responsibility to improve the reporting in this town? Your post made me think that you hold yourself apart from everyone else in the industry here and I wonder why?

And I had to laugh that you prefer Channel 11 to Channel 13. 11's health and military reports are boring and the station needs to assign someone to do crime reports now that Darryl Lewis Sr. is doing mostly sports.

Maria Jones, formerly of 13, deserves dome credit for bothering to put together some good packages before leaving for a better job in Georgia. Her package on the David Cox sentencing for murder was especially good.

akbushbaby said...

You're right, I do hold myself apart, and I'm not sure why either. I didn't find my post particularly nasty, actually, to the contrary, I found it rather benign. The reply to Meg's comment was the mistake. A good friend wrote me and said I can be critical but I tend get personal sometimes and hurt people's feelings. However, I feel, especially in this profession, you (not you in particular) need to have a thicker skin. You have to. (Again, not you, Amanda)This has sparked a very interesting debate and I'm glad. This is what I wanted by posting that. A good debate, new ideas and opinions; not grief.

Anonymous said...

i missed the controversial blog...would you consider a repost? at the risk of offending even more people, my take on the situation is f*ck it. it's YOUR blog, for others to choose to visit or not. keep on keepin' it real!

akbushbaby said...

Ah, yes. The F*ck-it response. I'm close, but am trying to understand and be better without changing. But I am close. Especially after today. The DMV thinks I'm some sort of terrorist and won't re-issue my driver's license, which I lost at a bar in Indy. Does anyone remember the part in Shawshank Redemption when the young guy is trying to get his GED but can't get and throws the papers and says 'F*CK THIS PLACE! F*CK IT!'
This just made me think of that, not that I would ever do that of course.

Phoebe said...

I have two blogs...One for the general public, one that is basically just me, bitching. That one's on livejournal and it's set to friends only... I haven't updated it in awhile. Lots of bitch about, but no time to bitch about them. Honestly, you should keep your blog...impo