Sunday, March 15, 2009

I'm not ready to make nice, I'm not ready to back down

According to my mother, with whom I just had the sweetest conversation, I'm leaving 'a trail of disappointment' wherever I go. Guess who's not invited to my rookie Iditarod start next year? Yes I gave up a steady career to race sled dogs. Do I regret it? Not for a second. I'm happy. Yes I've 'run away' from various lives I've had in the past several years, but I need to be happy. And you know what? I am happy. Have I disappointed people along the way? Probably. But I'm not living for other people. I completed my first 200-mile race this year and I'm pretty freakin' proud of that. (My mother paid the $200 entry fee but wanted it back when I didn't win.) I'm hoping to complete my first 300-mile race shortly. The people who have supported me along the way did so because they are supporting my dream, not because they expect something in return. And I'm living my dream. I'm not rich and don't have much to show, but I wake up every day not dreading the hours ahead. This is who I am.
We've narrowed the race contenders down. Hitchcock is out because she's just not interested in any run past 20 miles. Summer's out with a sore shoulder. Sister's out because she'd much rather train pups than go on any long runs. We've still got about 16 in contention for a 12-dog team, so odds are good that we'll have a great lineup come race time.
I'll keep you posted on the progress.