I've got sunshine on a cloudy day

OK. I've comendeered the office computer and without further delay, I'd like to share some photos. Things are still going really well here. The tourists are actually pretty damn cool for the most part. I made a $100 tip the other day on one 20-minute tour.
The dogs are still enjoying it, though some are getting a little bored with it all. One of the mushers got fired yesterday so we're short a musher and two teams. That means the dogs are going to be running a lot more and we'll be making bank with all the overtime. I hope we find someone soon, though, just for the dogs' sake. If any mushers out there are reading this and need a very well-paying summer job, send a message. It's great for the dogs.
Lastly, I'd just like to remind everyone that it's my birthday next Saturday so if you haven't already put your packages in the mail, you better do it tomorrow. Of course I'm just kidding. (No, I'm not.)
Peace.

The footbridge over the creek in front of the dog camp.

The spirit bear that hangs out near horse camp. Gawd I love this place.

My cabin. I love it! Sam was here last week and built me a bunch if shelves.

My girl Capiche with the wrong name tag on her house...She is a tough cookie...

Little Archer at home in the forest.

One of the many spectacular views.

Puppies being too cute as usual.

Musher Clark giving a kennel talk to the tourists.

A tourist lovin' up a sled dog after a tour.

Musher Cara and handler Laura on a tour.

Alex the dog.

Iditarod musher Rich. He finished 69th.

Ritchie never met a bike that he didn't want to ride

OK! Here I am. Back again. In a really, really annoying wireless place. I hope you guys appreciate it. I actually don't have that many photos but I'll add more later. Like it or lump it. Things are going really well here in Skagtown. The dogs, as they have been since the start, are awesome. As much as I like to poke fun at the tourists, I have actually met some really, really cool people. Cool people on the cruise ship? Why, yes! People who are genuinely interested in what it is I do and wish me good luck in my future races in earnest. I like those people and those are the tourists I turn my attention to. Some of the guests we get though are really, really big douche bags. The ones who ask me why PETA doesn't get involved or the ones who ask if the dogs are in pain....to which I respond 'if pulling this cart around was hurting them, do you really think they'd be wagging their tails, you halfwit??' I don't say the halfwit part of course, but I would love to.
The bears are out in force but so far, without any incidents. I still like the people I work with, for the most part and I've got this job down pretty good, I'd say.
I think Capiche might be knocked up. She got bred by Drake, a good leader I bought from Dan Kaduce. If she is prego, it'll be a good breeding, so I'm OK with it. The dogs are changing here. They're getting stronger and becoming more responsive to me. I spend every day, all day with them and it's probably the best job I've ever had. I get paid well to hang out with dogs all day. I'm really excited for this winter and the racing season. Anyway, I'll write more later. Here are some random pics from first few days here. WAIT! The photos are not uploading and I'm ready to set this laptop on fire, so no photos....again. Sorry.
Peace.

I never met a Toby I didn't like

OK. I found a spot in town with wireless but forgot my power cord at the ranch so no photos yet. Soon. Stay with me here, people. The job is still going well but my team is slowing down a little. We had a weird Alaska heatwave here last week and it completely sapped my dogs. So much so that we had to get off the hill early because my dogs just wouldn't pull in the heat. Smart dogs. Other people's teams seem to be handling it better and the weather has cooled off today so let's hope for more cold and rain....I never thought I'd be saying that. Things are rolling along here. The tourists are still the same. Some are amazing and some are meh. Lots of questions, some good and some frustrating. Like when people ask if the dogs really like it. Um, do you really think they'd be wagging their tails and screaming like maniacs if they didn't? Duh. Probably the most-asked questions I get are 'Do you run these dogs on snow?' or 'Have you seen 8 Below?' or 'Why are they so small?'
Every freakin' day it's the same. Sometimes I take the time to explain everything and sometimes, if I'm tired or hot or both, I give the short answer. "Because." Just kidding. Sometimes I'll pawn off the really stupid questions on my handler. "That's a good question and Nick's going to explain the answer to you."
My handler will make up something that, if it's close enough to the truth, I'll let slide.
My little cabin on the bluff is perfect and the people, for the most part, are still loads of fun. Drama is unfolding every day and it's pretty funny to watch while trying to keep my fat yap shut and not get involved. Anyway, Sam's coming in a couple weeks and I'm really excited to see him. I've been missing him more and more lately, now that all the 'new job' fun is over and I'm settling into a routine.
I guess the only thing that I would change about my little cabin is to have an outhouse. Poopin' in the woods just ain't what it used to be now that the mosquitoes are awake and hungry. Enough said.
Peace.

Tyler Michaels got fired!

I just have to start by saying that I have the best blog readers in the world! Thanks, guys and gals for boosting my already-inflated ego. I love you all. Skagtown is fan-freakin'-tastic. Except of course that Tyler (a horse guide) actually did get fired and I'll miss him and his big white dog named Clifford. I think that Tyler getting canned is the only gossip...oh, Nick and Tessa hooked up after the company party on Saturday. And Joe got laid. OK, that's all I know, I swear. Today I ran a team in the morning with some really nice guests and did kennel talks in the afternoon. That's where I stand in front of the group and talk about mushing, my experiences and introduce them to one of my dogs. Usually I use Bully, but today I took Hitchcock and she was a superstar. I totally love my job and I haven't been able to say that in earnest in a really long time. It's been hot and sunny here which is great for me but hot for the dogs. I threw Bully in the creek today. He's still pouting. I think I'm have a bit of a pre-mid-life crisis. Everyone here is in their early '20s and though I get along with them all great and can relate surprisingly well, the age gap still bugs me a little bit. For the first time in a while, I wish I was five years younger. But then Sam would be 20 years older then me and that's just creepy. Sigh. OK, photos to come, I promise. Hang in there. I've been preoccupied with this dog thing. I think this job will provide a good opportunity to snag a few sponsors for my Yukon Quest plight. Maybe even Iditarod? Yikes. I get nervous just thinking about it and it's years away.
Anyway, time to go back to Dyea. I love it here.
Peace.

I told you I was trouble and you know I'm no good

It always amazes me how people get offended by my blog. How about this: Stop reading it, then!
So, I found a wireless connection but haven't made it there yet. Work is going to get nuts this week with back to back to back tours starting at 7 a.m. and ending around 6 p.m. All I want to do after work is sleep. Today was a slow day so we trained for a while now we're in town trying to relax before the onslaught next week. I'm really loving it here. It's so great for the dogs and the pay is pretty darn good. The people I work with are great. Have I already said all this? Probably. OK, photos and more stories soon, I promise. (Really, really offensive and judgmental stories.)
Peace.

I know you are but what am I?

Finally got to town before six to update. I have tomorrow off, so I'm going to find a wireless spot so I can post photos.
Here's a quick rundown on what's goin' on here in Skagtown.
I love my job.
My body is sore.
I sleep like a rock.
My hands are callused.
My dogs are awesome.
Richard Savoyski should be shot.
I'm smoking more now than I ever have in my life. (I know, I know.)
Skagway's cool...sort of...
The tourists are really nice. (It's true)
I've had some HIGH-larious questions from said tourists.
I work with amazingly cool people.
I work some real boners.
I miss Sam.
I bring dogs into my cabin every night.
Bully is a crowd favourite.
So is Hitchcock.
It rains a lot here.
I've never been so dirty in my life.
Despite the lack of Sam, I'm loving this.
More tomorrow.
Peace.

We sure are cute for two ugly people

I wish I had a wireless connection so I could post photos. I ran into a tree with my face a couple days ago and have a huge gash on my cheek. Apparently it makes me look tough. Then, yesterday, I got bit by Parker trying to break up a fight and have big bruises and punctures on my forearm. Other than those mishaps things have been going rather well. I've had a couple shiny, happy fits of rage but that's just because hooking up 16 dogs is freakin' stressful, especially when your boss is standing there telling you to hurry. (Plus, I'm PMSing)
The tourists have been really great and the dogs are having a fantastic time. I love my cabin up on the cliff and the people are actually pretty dang nice. I've learned to tune out the obnoxious ones. I've been driving the mosterous cart that holds the (mostly fat) tourists and haven't crashed it yet. I did hit a rock pile and yesterday I took out a water bucket but I just made a joke about getting extra points for hitting the buckets and we all laughed in that fake-touristy kind of way. I'm really getting into this.
Tomorrow I do kennel talks for the morning which means I just blather on about mushing and my adventures and racing etc. Should be fun. I'm going to have Bully there as a model sled dog. Yesterday Bully bit the end of Hershey's (a borrowed dog) tail off. Hershey didn't even notice and he wagged his tail, spraying blood all over everything. Bully just sat there smiling. I wrapped the tail and popped some antibiotics in Hershey and today he's still as happy as ever. That's not like Bully to do something like that, but Hershey is pretty annoying and must have stuck his butt in Bull's face one too many times.
Let's see what else?
I guess that's it for now. It's beautful here and the dogs are almost as happy as they are in winter, so therefore I'm happy.
Miss you, Fairbanks!
Peace.

If I die of vanity, promise me to bury me someplace I don't want to be

So here I am in the coffee shop again in Skagway. This is one of three days this summer that we don't have a cruise ship and therefore the whole camp has a day off. Things are going well. We had our first tours yesterday and I handled for a musher to get the hang of things before I start doing my own tours tomorrow. I'm a little nervous, but the tourists thus far have been really into it and everyone at work is really cool. Except for one bastard of an Iditarod musher. He's vulgar and curses more than a truck driver. His name? Well, it starts with R and ends with ich. He placed really shitty in Iditarod and thinks he's all that and a bag of chips. He's actually pretty cool but just needs a little beat down every once in a while to put him in his place. He'll come around. Pretty much everyone that works here is really young. It's only mildly annoying. I can't really name names because I don't want to get in trouble but Blank is a real blanking blank. And Blank is blank and sometimes she's very blank. Blank and Blank are cool, I mean blank, but sometimes they're so blank, it's blank.
Blank.
The dogs are settling in nicely and I'm looking forward to the summer. The bears are worrisome but I'll survive. And if I don't, well, getting eaten by a griz isn't the worst way to go. If I don't post again for let's say 10 days, I'm inside a bear belly. Send help.
Peace

Beware of bears and offensive Iditarod mushers

Well, Jesus, I made it. I made it Skagway after a crazy 14-hour drive, two nights in Whitehorse and 26 crazy dogs. I'm living in Dyea, just outside of Skagway and internet access has been sketchy. I'm at a coffee shop right now, still on the hunt for a wifi location. Skagway is a little port town that was once a bustling city at the turn of the century during the Klondike Gold Rush. Now it caters mostly to tourists. There are some year-round inhabitants and lots of seasonal workers like me, so it's been fun meeting new people. The cruise ships have yet to arrive. But once they do, the boardwalks in Skagway will be packed shoulder to shoulder with white-haired grannies and grampies from Vermont and Florida. With their white shoes and colour-coordinated track suits, the tourists here are easy to spot. Meanwhile, back at the ranch...
I have a sweet little cabin high up on a rock cliff. My dog lot is on the next bluff below me. The dogs are in heaven here. It's cool and with big trees all around, there is plenty of shade. So far I've been tending to my dogs and doing odd jobs around the camp to get ready for the onslaught of visitors. Our first tours (16-dog teams pulling wheeled carts with six tourists, one musher and one handler) begin on Monday. Yesterday I got a crash course (literally) in driving those carts. I only hooked up 12 dogs because the cart wasn't full and yet my dogs still seemed to struggle. We have to turn the team around 180 degrees at the end of each one-mile tour and that really confused Bully and Capiche. By the fourth run, they were ready to give me the finger and call it a day. We stopped then thank goodness. They'll get it, I'm sure, this is new for me and the dogs. I really think I'm going to like it here. The people, for the most part, are really cool. And there are around 300 dogs so there's always doggie love to have. Once the season gets rolling, it's going to be a lot of work, but I'm ready.
Sorry if this post is all over the place, but I'm trying to get it all in.
Oh yeah, there's a huge bear problem at the camp, so I'm getting nervous about that...more later
I'm running out of time.
Peace.

Houston, we have a launcher

OK. It's 9 p.m. and I just got home from a day of collecting dogs and saying my good-byes. I have my 26 ready to go and am about load the truck with my gear. I'm freakin' out, man. No. I'm not. I'm ready. I think. Would it be too vain if I brought a mirror along? I mean, I'm pretty sure my cabin won't have one and if I head out to greet the tourists one morning with a giant booger, well, that's just not good for business, right? So, yeah, I'll bring a mirror. OK. Pack mirror. I don't know when I'll be able to post again but as soon as I'm able, you know I will. So, to all my homies in Fairbanks, have a good Interior Alaska summer. I'll be having a fun, albeit soggy, summer in Southeast. And to everyone else, wherever you are, have a good summer. OK, still lots to do. Wish me luck!!
Peace.

If I were a flower growing wild and free

It's snowing. Again. Still. What the holy deuce is going on 'round here?
Here are bunch of random photos from the past few weeks. I'm pretty much packed to leave for the summer. If you can believe that one. Now it's time to relax and enjoy my final days of Fairbanks. In spring? Winter? Spinter? I hope the weather clears for the big drive. I've made arrangements to stay with musher friends Hugh and Tamra on Monday night to break up the long haul. My stomach is in knots.
Peace.


My Gran. I only hope that when I'm her age, I'm equally as witty, pretty and smarty as she is. I also hope that I can wear pink as well as she does and that I have a hot red, electric wheelchair like she does. Woot Woot!

Sneaky Pete running wild and free.

Summer!

My littles. Roy and Hazel cuddling on the couch.

My potatoes. Ruffles, Bully and Roy.


Snowy days are gone. Or are they?

If you were a wink, I'd be a nod

You take the good, you take the bad, you take them all and there you have The Facts of Life.
I always felt like I could relate most to Natalie, the chubby, shiny one. She was always happy. At least she was in my mind's eye. These days I feel more like Joe. The greasy, surly, boyish one. I've been wearing Carhartts, a sweatshirt and my muck boots since returning from Ontario. I feel masculine. And not in a good way. Tonight I'm going out with my girls and I might be so bold as to put on some mascara. Probably not, though, but I might wear a bra and that always makes me feel like a lady. I also feel a little like Tootie today. Not because of her unforgettable characteristics but because of her name. I've been Tootie-ing for over a week now. My stomach is still wonky after single-handedly stimulating the Canadian fastfood industry whilst I was in Kingston with my sister. I feel dirty. At least (and I mean at the very least) I ate at Canadian chains: Harvey's, Swiss Chalet, Tim Hortons, etc.
My sissy and I went to Baskin Robbins twice in one day. Don't judge me.
I'm eating ice cream as I write this. Please, please don't judge me.
I'm contemplating having another bowl after this one. OK, you can judge me on that one.
I had pizza for breakfast. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME??
Christ.
I'm not worried. In less than a week, I'll be working my ass off (literally) in Skagway while living on meager rations in a waterless, powerless cabin.
I always shed weight in the summer and especially while doing physical labour for someone else. In Finland, I dropped 30 pounds in four months.
You'd think I'd lose weight in winter what with all the physical activity, winter camping, chopping, surviving I do.
But the thing about working hard out in the cold is that when you finally do come inside, face red and burning from the temperature change, all you want heavy, comfort foods. And for me, I feel like I can eat anything after working hard in the cold. I can't and that explains my oversized ass and thighs at the moment.
Hazel's been in the house for two days. She was spayed Tuesday and is recovering nicely. She's been so good, I decided to just leave her in the house. For those keeping track, it turns out she wasn't pregnant after all. Good thing. I don't feel so bad now.
Anyway, I'm stressing over the move, so I should go and pack some more. And by pack, I mean eat more ice cream. Kidding. (wink)
Peace.

A picture is worth a thousand bucks

Johnson and I spent most of yesterday loafing on the porch, drinking coffee and contemplating life. (That took all of five minutes.) Then we hauled out a bag of golf balls and a driver from the back of his Subaru and took turns whacking balls off the house pad into the woods. The sturdy thwack of the balls hitting the trees was extremely satisfying. Only one ricocheted directly back at us. It landed in Sister's circle. She picked it up and buried it in the straw inside her house like a precious egg. I promptly retrieved the ball/egg from its new nest and fired it off a snow-tee into the woods again. What fun! (Sister's still pouting.) After a while we got sick of the golf club so we switched to a Louisville Slugger. Believe it or not, it was even more satisfying.

The temps here are soaring and the snow is slowly receding. The dog yard is a soupy, poopy mess. I leave a week from today for my summer of dog fun in Skagway. This week, I am free and clear of assignments and am focusing on organizing my shit gear to get ready for five months in the Southeast. I have about 10 lists going and have done little, if nothing, on any of said lists. I've got time.
Peace.

I am the very model of a modern Major-General

I have returned. Relatively unscathed. I got back to Fairbanks in the wee hours of Saturday to a heap of new snow and sub zero temperatures. Quite a change from 75 degrees in Eastern Ontario. The trip was fantastic. Quick and dirty. I got to visit with my Gran and stayed with my sister, her husband and my new nephew Jaden for three days in Kingston. I also visited with some old friends which was really nice. Of course, there were plenty of people I wanted to see but time simply did not allow. Next time, I promise.
I have a week until I leave for Skagway for the summer, so I'll be busy packing my winter gear away and organizing gear to take south. The dogs were really happy to see me. Sally and Kat actually jumped up on me with tails wagging...they never do that...
Sam is in Missouri helping his mother move from a big, lake-front house into an apartment in Kansas. He'll be back tomorrow.
Here are some photos from the trip with more to come when Sam gets back with his camera.
Peace.

Me and my nephew...who looks more uncomfortable?

A happy boy, that's for sure.



Here's Buddy, my parents' dog, chasing ducks on our front lawn.

Every day is Earth Day

I'm in Kingston, Ontario, staying with my sister and her hubby and my new nephew, Jaden. He's frackin' adorable! He smiles ALL the time. I think it must be me. Sam's back in Brockville (Brockvegas, Brockapulco)with pops working at the Sugar Bush (that's a real place.) We went and saw my Gran and she looks great. Yes, T, I will show her the toque. So far, I've eaten my weight in junk food and have loved every second of it. I've visited some old friends and slept like a log (a snoring one) in my old bed. It's nice to be home. In Canada. More later with lots of pics.
Peace.

Look out Gran, here we come!

We leave tomorrow for Ontario. I'm really excited to see my old hood. And by hood, I mean house in the country. Sam's visit will be cut short by a few days as he is now going to go to Missouri to help his mom move. At least he will get to be in my hometown for a couple days and will get to meet my Gran. I hope he passes her 10-point inspection. He's looking forward to showing her his teeth. Anyway, I have a ton to do before we fly away from here. I'll try to post from the airport in Chicago with some funny 'vanillas in the airport' photos.
PeaCE

Tell me about the rabbits, George

One Christmas, when we were kids, my sister got a remote-controlled car under the tree. Actually, it was a Barbi Jeep, but that's neither here nor there. She opened the box, popped a couple of double-A batteries into the remote, crammed ol' Babs in the driver's seat and promptly, without hesitation, drove the thing down the stairs. It broke and we cried.
The act wasn't malicious, we didn't want it to break, we wanted to test it. But, sadly, the off-road trip was a little too extreme and we lost everything. (Except Barbi, that skank will be around forever.)
The reason I'm telling this story is because I think the commenters on the News-Miner site often go way too far. And if they keep testing the boundaries this way, the whole thing is going to go away.
DON'T SQUEEZE THE RABBITS SO TIGHT, LENNIE!
Some of the people who comment start off OK, but inevitably these bored, sad souls end up bickering with each other and petty name-calling usually ensues. And most of the time, the arguments have nothing to do with the original story. (One story on the site about poaching in Denali Park set off a string of comments about Britney Spears...seriously.) I mean, at least with letters to the editor, people have to stop for a second to think about what they're writing and sending, but it seems people will write anything at all hours on the website.
The comments are controlled, and slanderous or vulgar comments are removed post haste but a lot slide through that are just idiotic and unnecessarily rude. It's amazing how people feel like they have carte blanche to be assholes when they hide behind the name 'Anonymous.'
Peace

This is one doodle that can't be undid, Homeskillet

Strange weather we're having, eh? It's snowing, it's melting, it's freezing, it's melting, it's snowing...make up your mind!!
Well, not much going on here.
Roy's still in a coma and Ruffles is one happy biddy because of it. Even though she was getting pretty good at the ol' tuck-and-roll every time Roy would push her down the hill, she's excited to have a little break from the obnoxious pup.
I'm working on a couple late stories for next month's issue of Mushing Magazine and I'm going out to Chena Hot Springs tomorrow to cover NBC's 'The Today Show' out there doing a weekend piece about the geothermal plant. I'm heading down the Steese to Chatanika on Thursday morning to visit with mushers Dan Kaduce and Jodi Bailey. Dan's going to build me a racing sled for next season. I'm working on a business profile about Cooper Sleds out of Minnesota right now and I kind of want one those sleds, too. They're $1800, ultra light and super flexible. I was also looking at a Prairie Bilt sled, which are a little cheaper, but we'll see how much cash I have when the summer's over. I'm also trying to put together a sponsorship package for next year's racing season. Oh, and trying to get a few late season runs in before the dogs and I head to Skagway for five months.
Sam and I leave Saturday for Ontario and we're both pretty excited. Our friend Julie is going to stay at the cabin and watch the dogs for us.
Well, I guess that's it for now.
Peace
Oh yeah, check me out here.


Poor Roy.

Roy: Same great puppy, now with less boner

Roy's been catatonic since his episode. Poor guy.
As I said before, break-up here is a yucky, messy time. I spent an hour yesterday picking up crap that has appeared since the snow started melting. No matter how diligent I felt I was this winter, there were dozens of poo piles scattered around the property. Like stinky little landmines. I know, I know, lately my blog's been all dog poo and boners, boners and dog poo...
On a different note, my story about Iniakuk, along with Sam's awesome photos, came out today in the News-Miner. Check it out here .
I realize there are a couple errors in it, but I'm not taking the blame for those. That's why we have editors, right?
Anyway, I'm thinking of taking one more overnight trip into the White Mountains even though conditions might not be great. I just can't let go of the season. I'm not ready. Damn you, Spring!
Peace.

A $300 boner at two in the morning

Whew, what a night. Not a good night. Not a fun night. A nasty, long, expensive, boner-filled, screaming, crying kind of night.
At around 11 p.m. last night, Roy got a boner. This boner was different. It didn't go away. I waited and waited. "Think baseball, Roy. Think Margaret Thatcher..." Nope, nothing. He was in pain and completely freaked out. After about an hour I called the emergency vet clinic. They gave me some suggestions. A cold compress. Sugar water on the, er, affected area. Distraction in the form of a car ride. And I even reluctantly tried the final option. I put on a latex glove slathered on some Vaseline and tried to put the urethral bulb back into the preputial sheath. I know, this is gross, but what choice did I have? An expensive trip to the emergency clinic? If I just left it, it could damage the tissue even more and result in amputation. Regardless, nothing worked and I brought Roy into the vet at 1 a.m. First the Doc tried exactly what I did to no avail. Then she knocked Roy out and tried again. More drugs, more pushing, pulling, boner jokes, etc. An hour and a half later, Roy was at the maximum dose of knockout drugs and still had a raging hard-on. They had to pull out the scalpel. The doctor, between penis jokes, cut the prepuce to get the penis back in. She stitched it up and then added a couple more stitches so that Roy will never get another boner again.
Needless to say, Roy is not a happy camper today. Neither am I. I hate seeing my precious boy suffer. Also, the whole fiasco cost over $300. For a boner!
Roy is sporting a stiff (har har) and very uncomfortable collar that prevents him from getting to his wounds. He's on antibiotics still and now pain killers and, starting tonight, tranquilizers.
I have to say that now, I've seen everything. And still nothing fazes me. That's the joy of dog mushing, people. You see things that will haunt you forever and you deal with it. If I hear one more boner joke I'm going to set someone on fire, I swear, so don't do it!
And let this be a lesson to all you horny boys out there. Keep it in your pants! For the love of all that is holy, keep it in your pants.
Peace.